Asleep

Tonight was my turn cuddle Einar to make sure he went to sleep. We don't do it every night, and there isn't a formal my turn, your turn, division of labor, but never the less, tonight was my turn.

Laura read him one of the Mamma Mu books that his aunt Anna gave him. It is in Swedish, so Anna wrote a translation to English that Laura reads, while Einar follows along in the book and looks at the wonderful illustrations. I was doing something else, so I got in at the end of the story, somewhere near the line "Maybe two hellicopters..." (no, I'm not going to explain other than that it is a story about a cow, a crow, and a slide.)

Anyway.

Laura left and I was alone with Einar. This is the time of day when his proficiency in verbal oratory explodes into full bloom. "Pappa, why is..." and then some interesting and insightful question that you find yourself answering before remembering that it is past talk-time and it is now sleep-time.

By the time you have started to explain that there are no more questions, he has already asked two or three more that you feel obliged to answer, if but briefly...[ha!]

I finally figured out a solution. These days I put earplugs in before I lay down next to him. When he talks, all I hear is "Mmmbbblllm mmmbbl bl?" and I answer "Einar, no more talking." This goes on ten to twenty times before his brain slows down enough that he notices that he isn't getting any real feedback. Then he moves on to talking to the stuffed animals, flailing arms and legs, getting a sip of water, taking a potty break, or any of the other delaying tactics a four year old is so skilled at. (Do they take classes? I don't remember us paying for any...)

Finally he is asleep and I get up to sneak out the door.

At this moment Einar turns, sits up, looks at me and says "Pappa, why are you leaving? Please stay!"

"Einar, you are asleep. Lie down."

"I'm not asleep!" he protests loudly, but he does lay down and closes his eyes.

I count to three, shakes his shoulder—asleep like a log—and I'm out of there in less than sixty seconds after he first sat up.

Parenthood does give you amazing abilities to judge the state of your child.